Learning is frustrating, deal with it!

Embrace the awkwardness of teaching yourself something new.

Doing something new is awkward. It makes you feel stupid and clumsy, like an elephant in a porcelain store.

Learning is a difficult process of doing something new and getting better at it. Doing, reading, listening, or everything combined with lots of repetition.

It is frustrating as hell. It does not come even close to being less painful before a 7th repetition, for habits even the 30th or 300th. Depends on the intensity and motivation.

I was looking at my kids growing up. Seeing how they learn. And seeing how difficult it is for them to feel the frustration of learning. The pain of not being good at something and having to keep going and grind through to become better.

We patronize the children that they are impatient, but we are no better.

When did you last try learning something new that made you feel like a complete moron? To bash your head against the wall and think, how can my brain be so dumb not to absorb this knowledge.

Truth be told, children have it easier and harder at the same time. Putting all things together, it is the same for them.

Their brain is supposedly more malleable (changeable). They do not fear being wrong that much. It does not hurt them so much to be stupid because they are learning all the time, which is simply their normality.

We, adults, do not have that. We feel the pain, we kind of stopped learning, and it pains us to even try to get out of that comfort zone. But we do have an advantage. Because we already absorbed so much different knowledge, we can build a bit of a neuron bridge. We can rely on past knowledge. Like if you learn Spanish, only to lean onto a few words from English or Italian or French that spill over. Or were in use in your professional jargon.

Leaning is not an option for children; they do not have that advantage.

But being "stupid" and fearless is their main advantage. So much so that they just go with the flow and pick up the missing pieces along the way.

One thing scientists have come to realize in the past years is that our classic educational frame is total crap. If we fall within a range of 4 personality traits, it kind of reasons we do not all learn the same.

And truth be told, the classic model does not serve any of that 16-ish options.

Here are a few tricks that can work with most:

1) Just glimpse through the material the first time. Don't even try to memorize anything. Just read as memorizing is the least of your concern. Reading aloud or quietly is a personal preference. Whatever makes you happy.

2) Make a quick summary. Like a 2 minute summary. A summary without any details that you would explain to your friend after a couple of beers or a grandma. Nothing fancy, just the main concept, red line, and idea. Making it aloud or quietly is your choice.

3) Reread, still quick, but this time focus on what each part (chapter) has tried to say. After each part (chapter), make an executive summary - aloud or in your head. After all the parts, do a longer summary of what you read.

4) Reread the material, this time diving deeper into the material, supporting or rejecting your summary.

What not to do, because it is pointless:

- highlighting? So much wasted color never did any good. Had to know people that used gallons of highlighters with no success.

- writing memos? Unless you are a professional summary maker, doing it does not make sense.

- reading aloud with music on. Your mind needs to be focused on one thing, not 13 others;

- overheat your brain with 8 hours of mindless staring. Use chunks of 45 minutes with 5 minutes pauses. Your brain needs to be a sharp instrument, not a dull tool;

- overnight learning. Some people prefer learning in the morning, some at night. But the last day of learning is pointless. Your body needs a lot of rest and sleep. The brain is a processor that sorts best the new stuff at sleep. Not getting enough sleep means the same as drinking alcohol instead of learning.

One last trick if you are learning a language:

Immerse yourself into the culture. Eat foreign food. Put stickers of names on your things, furniture, and stuff to repeat. Listen only to foreign videos, radios, etc. This is the same method as landing in a foreign country with no backup. Your brain would have to cope with the new reality of language and culture, no matter how. Drown it in it. It will survive; it is made for it. But it won't be pleasant. This is how the masterminds of foreign languages did it. Learning a foreign language in 28 days, that is, from scratch.

So what will you start learning next?