Don't underestimate the velocity of going slow

Or overvalue the backfire of speed

Personally, I like to jump into things. Not my style to do a lot of intros. But then again, I tend to do my homework, do my research, and prepare some pros and cons.

I find it often funny how irrational people actually are. If you try to push them, even for their own good, too fast, they will lock themselves up.

And then some people like talking. Best not to interrupt them. Just keep them pouring and pouring shitloads of nonsense.

Because 15 minutes in, they will get lost. They have prepared for an argument, for a comma to be misplaced. So these folks are best disarmed by doing nothing. Just patiently waiting for them to get out of word munition.

And then you throw a bone and wait for another round. And when they finish, if you really listen, tell them they are repeating themselves. If they have not, throw another bone. You have to exhaust all their ammo.

Then and only then, you pick your gun and go for the kill.

Of course, there will be objections. Which you should listen to. And if it is new, intensely. If it is not new, tell them that they are repeating.

Nothing disarms an angry person more than somebody who listens. Listening does not mean you agree. Listening (active listening) means you listen, try to understand their position, and let them talk.

By rushing into things, you fail to take advantage of that. If you rush, it takes longer than if you go slow. It is just how people work.

It's how we all work. We need to be heard, understood. Even if it means nothing to our stance.

You see that often when somebody is selling you something, but they are letting you talk. And you wonder how on earth you brought home something you don't need.

And all they did was, at some moment of silence, ask: "Will you take the blue one or the yellow one? The blue is nicer, though." And there you have it, you own a blue surfing attachment and plan to surf at St.Never.

If you want to learn the skill, go to a car dealership. The best salesman lets you talk, not them. They will close the fastest. Let you hang yourself with your own hook.

The opposite is, of course, true also. The best deal in the world will get looked suspicious if the salesman is having a fast monologue. Nobody will get convinced. A rookie salesman mistake. Talking fast, not listening, and talking a lot.

So next time you are at a party, don't talk about your stance; just listen. And throw an occasional "mirror." You know, repeat the last 3-5 words they said?

And if you really hate the topic, do a "label" or "mislabel."

"Sounds like you are really into ___."

You would be surprised what people tell you if you let them.

#ActiveListening #EffectiveCommunication #PeopleSkills #PersonalGrowth #EmotionalIntelligence #UnderstandingPeople